You and Me - The Stages of Our Love !!
I want the last stage to happen.
8/26/20253 min read
The Stages of Our Love
I’ve read about the five stages of love in books and, these days, across the endless pages of the internet. But those were always someone else’s theories. When it happened to me, the stages turned into something far more alive — moments, decisions, mistakes, warmth, and regrets stitched together. This is my journey through them.
Infatuation — Shanghai, China
It began in Shanghai, where the city’s neon pulse felt like it might sync with my own heart. I first saw her at our office, just a short walk from the residences. Her beauty didn’t just catch the eye — it held it, quietly, effortlessly.
We went to Jinan once — her returning home, me visiting for the first time. We talked for hours, and I felt like I could talk to her forever. Later, in Xi’an, she joined me on a trip. Some moments from that journey are ours alone to remember, unspoken but unforgettable.
From there, we met often. Soon, we were sharing the same bed. It was our honeymoon period — a time when warmth seemed to fill every space between us. When she came to India, I followed to Hyderabad, and for a while, the feeling stayed the same.
Reality — The Fractures Appear
This stage was a shock to me — the “freak” in me, as I call it, was unprepared. She started getting angry at some of my behaviours. Looking back now, I see she was in a transition stage — adjusting her idea of who I was to the reality of living with me.
For me, though, reality didn’t change my perception. She was perfect. Always. I still don’t know if other men feel the same, but for me, the woman I saw at the start was the same one I saw through it all.
Adjustment — Learning, Mostly from Her
If there’s one thing she did better than me, it was adjusting. She understood that I knew almost nothing about certain parts of life — and so she taught me. How to wash utensils. How to hold a woman’s handbag without awkwardness. How to keep her safe when walking on the road.
I didn’t value these things back then. I rarely cared for such details. That was me. Now, I see the worth of what she taught — I use these lessons daily, and they ease the burden on my aging parents.
But I was stubborn in other ways. I forgot her birthday. Rarely brought gifts — not the material kind, but the small touches that say “I love you.” In truth, I didn’t adjust at all compared to her.
Commitment — Where I Failed Her
This was the big test — and I failed. She asked for only one thing: to give money to her parents, as is custom in China. I didn’t do it.
She wanted to stay in China, but she still agreed to marry me in difficult circumstances, with me living in India. And yet, I betrayed her trust.
I wanted to “make more” from the marriage money, using it to invest in the share market for our wedding expenses. It was reckless, selfish. I can’t escape the truth — maybe I didn’t truly love her then, because love would never have been so careless.
I almost destroyed her. Still, she gave me love I didn’t deserve.
Looking Back
Some say love has five stages; I lived four of them, but not in the way they were meant to be lived. From infatuation’s dizzy heights to commitment’s hardest test, my journey is marked by joy, mistakes, and lessons that came too late.
I’m grateful — deeply — for all she gave me. For the patience, the warmth, and the moments I still replay in memory. Even if I was not worthy, I carry them with me.
Epilogue — What Remains
Love, for me, is never a straight road. It was a lantern-lit path — sometimes glowing, sometimes flickering, and sometimes swallowed whole by shadow.
I walked it clumsily. I dropped gifts I never gave. I forgot dates that mattered more than I knew. I carried my own small greed like a stone in my pocket, thinking it would somehow build our home. Instead, it cracked the foundation.
And yet — she loved me. Through my half-built bridges and unlearned lessons, through my silence on days she needed words.
If the stages of love were a river, she was the current that carried me even when I fought the flow.
Now the water is calm, but I stand on its bank, watching ripples fade under a silver moon, grateful for every drop that once touched my hands.
This is the truth of my love — flawed, unfinished, but real enough to leave footprints in me.
LISTEN
I told my heart, "Go and bring happiness to me." The innocent heart brought me sorrow—well then, let me accept sorrow.
Where does the poor heart know what pain is, what emptiness is? Compared to all the joy in the world, my sorrow is more comforting.
I never found joy in celebrations; I found pleasure only in sorrow.
Sometimes there is the light of love, sometimes the darkness of death. Tell me, what disguise should I wear? Should I become a saint or a thief?
This heart has many faces. Who knows which one is truly mine?
There were thousands of miles I set out to travel, but the paths kept moving forward, and I was left behind.
I walked only a few steps and then began circling around your thoughts.
I told my heart, "Go and bring happiness to me." The innocent heart brought me sorrow—well then, let me accept sorrow.
I have no grouse against a life without you
But a life without you is hardly a life
Wish we could tread our journey with your steps
Pick our destinations afresh and walk someplace else, far far away
When you walk along with me
There’s no dearth of places to be
And though I have no grouse against a life without you…
All I wish to do is seek refuge in your embrace
And keep crying; keep crying
Aren’t those tears too that I detect in the moistness of your eyes –
A life without your is hardly any life
If you say so the moon will not set tonight
Say it – Stop this night
It’s just the matter of the night, there isn't much left in life without you
I have no grouse against a life without you
But a life without you is hardly any life
You alone… Without you, how could I live? Come to me, don’t let me ache like this.
My life, come and breathe within me. Like the moon, descend onto the ground of my heart.
If you love me, come and meet me — or else, take me from this earth entirely.
These breaths are restless, they whisper that wherever you walk, I should lay my eyes like a path beneath your feet.
I would give up my life from the heights of mountains if you did not come.
My hope, my world, my life and my death — I have placed them all in your hands.
I have broken every bond for your sake. Call me a hundred times, and a hundred times I will come.
Even tears taste sweet when they fall for you.
O naïve bird,
come back home..
come back home..
why do you wander country-country (in such bad shape)
why is your condition so bad, all tired-lost
why do you wander this country to that
you (have become) a nomad of nights..
a hundred pains are spread on the body,
clothes of all compassion are dirty..
(guess that means, all the sources of compassion are not there for you right now)
however much you cut the winds with your wings,
you'll not be able to fend yourself from yourself..
break the skies and burn the worlds,
but you can't hide yourself,
whatever path you take,
you are homeless (out there)
you will come to your home only..
O crow, I have so much of request to you, eat (my body's) flesh,
but do not eat my eyes, don't eat my eyes as I have a wish to see my lover..
If you are mine, I’m surprised that I never asked for anything
If you are mine, Why does it feel like I’ve gotten everything
For you are mine
I don’t ask for anything from this world
And if you’re not
I don’t want to live in this world
And in my visions
There’s a place where you and I are together now
And no one else is there
But you and I, oh
And you’ll come, you’ll come
Are our paths intertwined like this?
And if you’d cross paths with me
I’ll fall madly in love with you
And you’ll come, you’ll come
Are our paths intertwined like this?
And even if you don’t cross the paths with me
I’ll still want you the same
For you are mine
I don’t ask for anything from this world
You ask
What I see in you
When there’s a lot of things to see around me today
You don’t know
Yourself, no idea why
See yourself from my eyes please
Please see, please see
Beneath the hair, how beneath the hair
Your lovely smile hides beneath the hair
And your eyes go down and then up
So what do I do? I’ve lost already
Your lips, your lips
By which you give me lovely names
And about your heart, and about your heart
What can be said? How wonderful they are!
And yes, look here
How two hearts are walking down the aisle
But is it a clear sky
Or a rainy day again?
Even if your day is rainy
I’d still want to be with you, do you know that?
I’d not ask for anything else for
You’re mine
Stranger, you too sometimes call out from somewhere
I’m living here in pieces
You are also living in fragments
Stranger, call out to me from somewhere
Day after day, the silky breeze whispers
“Tell me” Where is that pure, innocent bloom?
Where is that light?
Where is that life?
I remain incomplete, and so do you
Wanderer, wanderer, foreigner Wanderer, wanderer, foreigner
You’re not here, yet your smiles linger
Your face is nowhere to be seen
But your footsteps still echo
Where are you, where have you gone?
Where is your trace?
Where is my world?
I remain incomplete, and so do you
Every night in my dreams
I see you, I feel you
That is how I know you go on
Far across the distance
And spaces between us
You have come to show you go on
Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on
Once more, you open the door
And you're here in my heart
And my heart will go on and on
Love can touch us one time
And last for a lifetime
And never let go 'til we're gone
Love was when I loved you
One true time I'd hold to
In my life, we'll always go on
Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on (why does the heart go on?)
Once more, you open the door
And you're here in my heart
And my heart will go on and on
You're here, there's nothing I fear
And I know that my heart will go on
We'll stay forever this way
You are safe in my heart and
My heart will go on and on